Nine Lies About Work

By Marcus Buckingham and Ashley Goodall

The perspective on feedback, basically that we are all doing it wrong, is provocative.  The thesis is that you should focus on what people are doing right instead of pointing out our shortcomings.  Giving instructions is fine:  here is how to use our calendar or fill out this form, etc. But for anything actually difficult to do (leading a team, making good decisions, being strategic, being a good improviser) there is more than one way to do it and it is foolish to think that we "know" what someone else should do.  

We are far too biased and subjective to really give helpful feedback in an objective way.  The best you can do is speak from your own point of view about your own experience.  "The way you led that meeting worked really well for me and made me feel engaged" rather than "I give you an 8.7 in meeting facilitation!!"

Plus, when you point out what someone is doing badly it sends them into defensive mode and makes their brain go haywire.  In other words, if you do that, you are an idiot.

See, your brain didn't like that.

And this is just one of the Nine Lies!